I have a day off work. It is a beautiful day outside. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and obnoxious fat people with no jobs and too many children are scurrying around the shops as if Primark is about to sell out of £4 tops. A glorious day.
Naturally, on a day like this, I have decided to stay in. Sit in the dark and watch as many horror movies as physically and mentally possible. The sun's cancer inducing death rays will not get anywhere near my pasty white skin today! and all the obnoxious fat people with no jobs and too many children are nothing but a faint and distant annoyance. I'm going to watch imaginary people get sliced, diced, maimed, raped, hung, drawn and quartered... and that's just before lunch!