Thursday, 22 November 2012
My name is Martin. I am twenty five and a half. I know who I am and I know where I came from but I have no idea where I am heading. I like professional wrestling - I know far too much about how it works 'behind the scenes' to still enjoy it with the enthusiasm I once did but it still enthrals and entertains me. I like Pokemon - It is still as magical to me now as it was in 1998. I love football but have never been to see a live match. I enjoy boxing and cannot sit still when watching a fight. I like cheap trashy horror movies and pretentious independent art house films. I like tacky rom-coms and big flashy action flicks. I like Al Pacino and Jean Claude Van Damme. I love Mark Ruffalo. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind changed my life. I love to read but don't do it nearly as often as I'd like to. I call myself a writer but don't write nearly as much as I should do to deserve such a title. I like roller coasters and walks on the beach. I love the colour green. I like cats and dogs. I love seahorses. I like hip hop and punk rock. I love Charles Bukowski. I have an amazing mother and a terrible father. I believe that I learned more about being a man, a husband and a parent by having a shit father than I would have done by having a brilliant one. I don't care about money - as long as I have a bed to sleep in and tea in my cup anything else is a bonus. I love tea. My mother has never put any pressure on me to achieve anything in my life other than happiness - this is both a blessing and a curse. I love my mum. I am inherently lazy - but I try my best to fight it. I struggle to let go of the past - I hold on to it like a child holds on to a safety blanket. I often let my heart rule my head. I have an irrational fear that if I keep giving my heart away and it keeps getting broken, by the time I eventually meet "the one" I am supposed to give it to I will have nothing left to give. I have scars, both inside and out - and I wouldn't remove any of them. Some people think I am funny, some think I am boring, some probably think I am a dick - I wish I didn't care what people think. I have made mistakes and fucked up and been an idiot but I have a kind and caring heart. I love my friends and would lay down in the road for any one of them - even those that wouldn't do the same for me. I have no regrets. The world is at my feet and the future is what I make of it. I will not let fear hold me back. I am lost. I am free. I am alive. Embrace. Believe. Live.