Anyways, for the last week and a bit I have been desperately trying to watch as many horror movies as my sanity would allow. It was tough going -- there was a lot of blood, a lot of sleepless nights, a lot of strange dreams, but I fucking loved every second of it!
Here is what I watched last week...
Just Before Dawn (1981) - Some kids go camping in the woods, only to be killed by inbred hill-billies. Inspired by Deliverance and a precursor to modern slashers such as Wrong Turn. I really enjoyed this one, well paced and some good kills.
Don't Go In The House (1979) - An introverted loner with Mother issues kills women with a flame-thrower. Technically a "slasher" even though no one gets "slashed". The film was critised for being misogynist, but I think it is an attempt to look at the effects of child abuse more than anything else. Slow but enjoyable film.
Terror Train (1980) - Slasher starring the original final girl Jamie Lee Curtis. I was looking forward to this one, but it fucking sucked. It was slow and boring and the killer is just some nerdy kid out for revenge because someone played a prank on him. Get over it already.
My Bloody Valentine (1981) - By this point, all these 80s slasher films were starting to blend into one. I can't even think of anything interesting to say about this one. It was better than Terror Train (just) but not as good as Just Before Dawn.
The Orphan Killer (2011) - After all that 80s-ness I needed an MTVGeneration-NoNeedForAnAttentionSpan-Kill Fest. It was interesting to see how slasher movies have evolved in 30 years. TOK is an independent production so there was as much blood and gore as the filmmakers wanted/could afford. Marcus Miller 'The Orphan Killer' seeks revenge against his long lost sister because she was adopted and he wasn't. Sounds like sour grapes to me.
The Cabin In The Woods (2011) - I absolutely loved this film! I had heard a lot of polarizing opinions about it before seeing it, some people loved it, some hated it. The more hype a film gets the less interested I get in seeing it, but I finally caved in and watched it and I'm glad I did. A great twist on the slasher genre with an impressive finale.
Offspring (2009) - A small coastal town is at the mercy of a clan of feral cannibals. I'm pretty sure the juxtaposition of the feral humans who kill to eat, and the violence of those conditioned by society is supposed to be some kind of study into the whole 'nature vs nurture' debate. Anywho, people get eaten... it was fun!
The Woman (2011) - The sequal to Offspring. The one surviving member of the cannibal clan (The Woman of the title) is captured by a weekend warrior All American family man type who takes her home and attempts to 'civilise' her. The man turns out to be, well, not a very nice person (to say the least). Shit gets real and people get eaten. There is a lot going on below the surface here but I can't be bothered to analyse it all.
Phantasm (1979) - This is a fucking weird movie. I remember seeing one of the sequels on TV as a kid, but only just got around to seeing this original for the first time. It is about a maniac undertaker called The Tall Man who is... well, not exactly human. What he is though, I'm not too sure as it is never fully or coherently explained what the fuck is going on. I was hoping I'd enjoy this movie, but I really didn't get much from it.
Wrong Turn 5 (2012) - If you followed my SHOCKtober posts last year you may (or may not) remember that I freakin' love Wrong Turn 1 & 2. The sequels, since 2, have been fucking dire. I mean, Wrong Turn 1 & 2 are not exactly masterpieces but part 3 was TERRIBLE! Part 4 was just about bearable enough and now they have made a fifth part... My word, what a steaming pile of crap. I saw the trailer a month ago and it actually looked pretty good. I was excited. However, that excitement came to an abrupt end when I got to see the film. My advice is just watch the trailer, it's much better than the actual film! Seriously, watch the trailer...
So, the moment you have all been waiting for... Did I manage to watch 32 horror movies in one month???...
Those paying attention will already know the answer. It is a big fat NO. I only managed to get through 27. The real kicker is that not only did I not reach my goal but I was 2 short of last year's total! I am very disappointed in myself. Very very disappointed.
Well, there is always next year! Right now I am looking forward to watching something that isn't a horror movie. Damnit I need some light relief! I'm off to watch a rom-com and have a cry...