I am writing about this is because last week a friend of mine offered me his old Smasung smartphone for free. He'd only had it a couple of months but he'd decided to upgrade to an iPhone. I thought long and hard about it for a good thirty seconds before I said "thanks, but no thanks" and here is why...
I am sick of seeing this everywhere. In restaurants, in pubs, on trains, on buses. Everywhere. Now, having never owned a phone with an internet connection I am not quite sure what everyone is doing on their phones all the god damn time, but I am guessing they're basically just looking up cat memes on tumblr or whateverthefuck?!? I don't know and I don't care, but it is a sad sight to see. What is wrong with a little HUMAN INTERACTION, PEOPLE?!? Fuck, even if you're alone, just sit and have a look out of the fucking window once in your life. As Ferris Bueller wisely said "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it".
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I know I am not the only person who is annoyed by this sight at gigs. I don't understand why people pay all that money to go to a show and then just watch it through a tiny screen. Or worse, are forced to watch it through other people's tiny fucking screens. What happened to living in the moment? It seems that people these days seem to worry that if every tiny fucking moment of their life is not documented by a Facebook status, a tweet, an instagram or a fucking selfie then it is somehow not valid. Just fuck off. Right now. Fuck off and die. Or atleast leave your phone in your pocket at gigs. Please.
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I love my phone. I love being the odd one out. I love people's reactions when they see it; "You know this is the 21st century, right?", "Hey, 1998 wants it's phone back", "Does that even work?!?". FUCK YES, IT WORKS. The amount of times I have dropped it, it shouldn't, but it rings, it calls, it sends and receives text messages, it has an alarm and I only have to charge it once a week. What more do I need?!? Yes, it is literally held together with tape, but honestly, how many phones could you drop down the toilet, mid-conversation, fish out instantly and carry on the conversation? Not many (Pretty gross, I know, but that actually happened a few months ago and needless to say I was pretty drunkface). When this one does finally die, I will replace it with an identical one, or one of its ilk.
I do appreciate that smartphones have their uses... Like Google maps if you're lost in an unfamiliar city. Or like... You know... ummm, no, actually that is the only useful aspect I can think of, and even then I'd rather be lost than be a smartphone wanker. Feel free to try to convince me otherwise and tell me why I should have said yes to my friend's offer. Go on, I dare you.