Thursday, 15 May 2014

REASONS WHY I DON'T HAVE A SMARTPHONE AND NEVER WILL

So, yeah, I don't have a smartphone. Never had one, never will. Well, I did once buy a second-hand Blackberry from eBay in a moment of unfathomable madness, but I never bothered connecting it to the internet, plus I destroyed it in a pool of cider, so that doesn't really count. The rate at which I destroy phones is definitely one of the main reason that I have zero interest in owning a smartphone, but there are also several other pretty major reasons as well. 

I am writing about this is because last week a friend of mine offered me his old Smasung smartphone for free. He'd only had it a couple of months but he'd decided to upgrade to an iPhone. I thought long and hard about it for a good thirty seconds before I said "thanks, but no thanks" and here is why...
  


I am sick of seeing this everywhere. In restaurants, in pubs, on trains, on buses. Everywhere. Now, having never owned a phone with an internet connection I am not quite sure what everyone is doing on their phones all the god damn time, but I am guessing they're basically just looking up cat memes on tumblr or whateverthefuck?!? I don't know and I don't care, but it is a sad sight to see. What is wrong with a little HUMAN INTERACTION, PEOPLE?!? Fuck, even if you're alone, just sit and have a look out of the fucking window once in your life. As Ferris Bueller wisely said "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it".  
Image source: This article


I know I am not the only person who is annoyed by this sight at gigs. I don't understand why people pay all that money to go to a show and then just watch it through a tiny screen. Or worse, are forced to watch it through other people's tiny fucking screens. What happened to living in the moment? It seems that people these days seem to worry that if every tiny fucking moment of their life is not documented by a Facebook status, a tweet, an instagram or a fucking selfie then it is somehow not valid. Just fuck off. Right now. Fuck off and die. Or atleast leave your phone in your pocket at gigs. Please.
Image source: This article



I love my phone. I love being the odd one out. I love people's reactions when they see it; "You know this is the 21st century, right?", "Hey, 1998 wants it's phone back", "Does that even work?!?". FUCK YES, IT WORKS. The amount of times I have dropped it, it shouldn't, but it rings, it calls, it sends and receives text messages, it has an alarm and I only have to charge it once a week. What more do I need?!? Yes, it is literally held together with tape, but honestly, how many phones could you drop down the toilet, mid-conversation, fish out instantly and carry on the conversation? Not many (Pretty gross, I know, but that actually happened a few months ago and needless to say I was pretty drunkface). When this one does finally die, I will replace it with an identical one, or one of its ilk.  

I do appreciate that smartphones have their uses... Like Google maps if you're lost in an unfamiliar city. Or like... You know... ummm, no, actually that is the only useful aspect I can think of, and even then I'd rather be lost than be a smartphone wanker. Feel free to try to convince me otherwise and tell me why I should have said yes to my friend's offer. Go on, I dare you.

16 comments:

  1. Your phone doesn't always receive texts from me, & you made my desk look filthy!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love my smart phone, but I feel ya, dude. Sometimes I feel like it's taken over my brain. I've had it on silent for the past few weeks, and sometimes I'll just bury it under something in my room and forget about it for hours...the only problem with that is that people expect constant, immediate responses from you, and freak out when you fail to give them an answer in a prompt manner. Although I guess that's a problem with all cell phones in general. Anyway, I won't try to convince you otherwise. =]

    ReplyDelete
  3. That first image is seriously true. I'm afraid to say that i'm guilty of this. lol
    Keep strong and stay away from the smartphone madness. Once you convert your stuck for life lol

    http://immabeama.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  4. When my phone ate shit (after 6 months) from being left out in the sun on too many drunk afternoons last year, I was actually incredibly happy to go back to my piece of shit flip phone (which I managed to kill a few months later, after having it 6 years). I love my smartphone, but I hate it way the hell more, and purposely bought one that's a piece of garbage and hardly holds any apps, just so I could have e-mail (and play Simpsons Tapped Out - straight up addicted to that) and a built-in mp3 player.

    FUCK SMARTPHONE SHOW-GOERS I HATE THEM THEY ARE THE WORST. I still bring an actual camera with me, and barely ever even use it, because what's the point? You're at a concert to see music and have a good time, not "experience" it through a tiny screen so you can revisit it later with shitty sound and crap video quality.

    Stay away from these bastards as long as you can.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have a smartphone and although it annoys me at times I really do not think I could cope without it. I do miss the feel of keys, and I miss how old phones just worked - no lagging, no crashes, you could drop it as much as you want etc. However I love my smartphone as I am directionally challenged no longer, and I'm shy so now instead of being the loner I can always look extremely busy (even if I'm actually looking at memes on tumblr) It's also great for when you need to suddenly check emails, or look something up. and I use it as a kindle too and for audible - so I don't have to lug books around which is great. I do think its kinda sad when people make the actual effort to spend time together, they end up on their phones instead though. it can be hard to disconnect with a smart phone, which is problematic

    ReplyDelete
  6. Totally feel you, and bravo for bucking the trend. My husband & I are going on...I think 3 or 4 years of smartphones and already seriously considering chucking them, with your reason #1 being a major factor. But also because it just truly saddens me how completely dependent our society is on them- think of the rage people feel when their phone breaks or is acting slow. There is no actual need for them, but we have tricked ourselves into thinking lives are meaningless without them.

    Really the only thing I am concerned about with going back to a "dumb phone" is the above mentioned issue of people freaking out when you don't automatically respond, because culturally we have been trained to want feedback RIGHT NOW (especially with my Mom who worries I am either gravely injured or angry with her, haha). But that's still not worth my monthly bill & the other crap.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love my smartphone {it makes my life easier to organise, makes my work a lot easier, whatsapp/telegram are why my scattered-across-the-globe friendships/relationships still survive, & why I'm always able to feel connected to people that aren't always *physically* present in my life} and while I'm all for the 'live in the moment' stuff, I also think that it assumes that life only happens in the physical space that one occupies. I don't think that's true, and it certainly isn't for me- there's too much of me scattered around for it to be.

    People on their phones when you're physically with other people- that's not a smartphone's fault, that's just people being rude. It's no different (in my opinion) to answering your phone at dinner: unacceptable behaviour. I never check my phone when I'm with someone else- unless it's a phone call I'm expecting or something similarly urgent; and I'm not shy about calling people out on doing it when they're around me.

    I don't know re: shows. If you aren't allowed your camera {they never let me take mine in} then you have your phone to document something- I don't know if it's always about experiencing something through a tiny screen when you're physically present.. I've used my phone to document a moment that I want to look back at later. I've also used it to try and see something I can't because of the tall fucker standing in front of the tiny person and refusing to move.

    My beef with my smartphone is that it makes me constantly contactable and makes it seem as though I am always available- which is exhausting and irritating, especially with work. I've begun to set rules with the phone (it's on silent at night, can't check my phone for the first hour after I wake up} which has helped a fair bit, but it's still a conscious process.

    I understand why someone wouldn't want to do any of that- not set rules of engagement for one's phone; for example!- but I also know how much my phone can let me connect to people, and how safe it can make me feel {walking down a dark, abandoned road at past-midnight.. the phone flashlight is heaven sent; not to mention the map function when you're in a strange city and don't know the way to place X and you're in a dodgy taxi...}. I suppose it comes down to what one needs and wants in their lives. :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Haha, I love this and you nailed it, well said! Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  9. this is a fucking great article/whatever the fuck. I fucking love it!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love my iphone and it's a very practical tool. But you have to choose when to use it and how to use it. And when it's appropriate to use it.
    And regarding shows - if cameras aren't annoying (you didn't say that though), why are phones annoying?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anyone watching a show through a screen when the actual thing is right in front of them is a fucking idiot. Whether that be a phone, camera, or tablet.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I agree. I used to film a lot at gigs in the past but after a while I realised that I didn't use those videos for anything anyway. So now I just enjoy the show.

    ReplyDelete
  13. THIS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sprlGPwlguQ

    is my REASON WHY I DON'T HAVE A SMARTPHONE AND NEVER WILL

    ReplyDelete
  14. meh, the problem with smartphones is that their related to the Telcos. The Telcos need to die, so we can have ANY device be a mobile device (big or small). We need more competition in the mobile space as well (hopefully with some sense of standards involved).

    ReplyDelete