THE ADVENTURES OF MY GREEN HAT

As many of you will already know I am rather fond of my green hat. I wear it most of the year. Even in summer I'll keep it in my bag "just in case". I feel rather uncomfortable when I leave the house without it on my head. I'm not quite sure why this is, or how it started even. My current green hat is Version III. The Original, Version I, I got when I first started university. It served me a good few years before I accidentally shrunk it in the wash. I was fucking devastated, to say the least. I searched high and low for another one the same but had to settle for one that was similar. Version II only served me for a couple of months before I left it in a pub when I'd had a few too many beverages. I clearly wasn't as attached to Version II as I was to The Original. Then came Version III. At first I really didn't like it, not even as much as Version II and certainly not as much as Version I. But I stuck with it and persevered. A couple of years later and I am totally in love with the little green bastard. We have been through a lot together, my hat and I, and yes there have been a couple of close shaves, but I haven't lost or harmed it yet...

That is, until this past weekend. I woke up in my tent on Sunday morning at Sonisphere Festival and the green hat was gone. Nowhere to be seen. To be honest, I wasn't too upset. I was far too fucking hungover to be upset. I thought to myself "Well, we had a good run. Nothing lasts forever. I'm going back to fucking sleep". When I finally mustered the energy to crawl out of my tent I discovered what had become of my little green friend. It turned out that it was far from lost, in fact it had seemingly had a better night than I had...

I passed out in my tent shortly after Iron Maiden finished their set (I assume, I don't actually remember seeing Maiden. Oops). When everyone else returned to the camp site to find me tucked up in my sleeping bag (I'd started drinking at 8AM you guys, gimme a break!) they decided it would be funny to fuck with me...

They stole the hat from my head and took it on a late night jaunt around the festival. Not only that but they took about fifty photos of strangers (and inanimate objects) wearing it! They thought I was going to be livid about the prank (If you take my hat from my head when I am awake (and drunk) I get VERY angry) but I saw the funny side. To be honest, I was just pleased that I hadn't actually lost it.

LONG LIVE THE GREEN HAT!