Thursday, 11 December 2014

REASONS WHY I DON'T HAVE CHILDREN AND NEVER WILL

This is a continuation of previous posts REASONS WHY I DON'T HAVE A SMARTPHONE AND NEVER WILL and REASONS WHY I DON'T DRIVE AND NEVER WILL. I have been meaning to write this one for a while, for a couple of reasons. Firstly, a few months ago my younger brother and his girlfriend had a child. This inevitably led to almost every member of my family saying ridiculous things like "Your turn next then, Martin" to which I would hastily reply "Hahahahahahaha No". My stepmother's reaction to my disdain towards parenthood was the funniest of all because she just can't get her head around it, it's baffling to her that somebody doesn't want children. Just as it is baffling to me that anyone does.

The second reason for this post is because around the same time that my brother's girlfriend was popping one out I found out that my best friend is pregnant. And whilst I'm 99% certain my brother's baby was not planned, hers was. Kind of. She and her boyfriend were not using any form of contraception, in an "if it happens, it happens" kind of way. And it happened. Again, to me, this is fucking baffling. And this is why...

  Image source: Becuo

Okay, let's just get this one out of the way first; I just don't like children. Yes, they have their 'cute' moments, and sometimes they can be 'funny', but let's be honest, most of the time they are selfish, ungrateful, rude, whiny little shits. I really don't understand why some people get so desperate to inflict this amount of grief on themselves. I realise that it's all about how you raise them and discipline and blah blah blah, but if it is that much effort just to control them, I'm definitely out. My girlfriend and I got kittens this summer, two of them, and if they have taught me anything it is that I am highly intolerant to small, annoying creatures - there is absolutely no way I would have the patience to deal with a snot nosed kid. I'd just end up locking the fucker in a cupboard or something (Not that I have ever locked my kittens in a cupboard, but I have been known to lock myself in the bedroom to get away from them).

 Image source: Eco Internet

Looking at the bigger picture - there are already too many people in the world. Our resources are stretched beyond their limits as it is and this planet does not need people adding to the problem unnecessarily. I always thought China's one child policy was a good idea (or rather, would have been a good idea had their society not been so hung up on that one child being a boy. Idiots). Something definitely needs to be done to stop people having children. In the UK it is almost like people are rewarded for having more children, especially if looking after them is beyond their means, the government just hand out money. But here's a better idea: DON'T HAVE CHILDREN IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO LOOK AFTER THEM. I also think that it should be illegal for people below a certain IQ to have children. Seriously, stupid people should not be allowed to breed, it causes no end of problems. I know, I am a self-righteous prick.


I think what it really comes down to is that I like my life how it is right now. I earn enough money that I can keep a roof over my head, I can feed myself, and I can treat myself to little luxuries pretty much whenever I want to - I can go to gigs, I can buy booze and smokes, I can buy zines and books and DVDs etc, - I don't want to give any of that up in order to feed and cloth a child. Maybe that is selfish, but I live within my means and I am happy. Luckily, my girlfriend is equally as opposed to having children - but she has her own reasons for that. For me personally I just can't understand WHY anyone WANTS children - I know women have maternal instincts and such, but sometimes I have urges to kill people, it doesn't mean I should do it. The only benefit to having children that I can see is to provide ones self with someone to look after you when you're old and decrepit, and THAT is the most selfish thing you could ever do.

The only way I can ever see myself having a child is if I accidentally knock someone up and they want to keep it, or if I do ever get a better job and have more money - I would consider adoption. There are so many unwanted, unloved children out there already, I would much rather take care of one of them than produce my own. I still don't like children though, so the former is much more likely than the latter.

6 comments:

  1. Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES. ALL THE YES.

    I can see adopting a kid later in life. An older kid, so I don't have to have them around for a full 18 years. That's about it for me, and thank GOD my husband feels that way too.

    Cute picture of you and Erin too, by the way.

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  2. With even more yes from me, now you have MORE THAN ALL THE YES.

    This was awesome. Thank you, it's nice to see other people talk about these beliefs and feelings.

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  3. I don't own that t-shirt anymore, and if I remember correctly, you don't own those jeans anymore.

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  4. Love this post. There was a time I didn't want children, and I would get harassed by so many people 'What do you mean? You'd make a great mom!' and 'Well why did you get married then?' along with many others.

    At the time, I agreed with pretty much everything you said in this. To be honest, I'm still not a big fan of kids. I can handle a few here and there, but I despise them in large groups. I do want to be a mom now, but I want to wait until hubs and I are in a position where it won't put us under extreme financial strain, and where we're both ready.

    And quite honestly, that may change again. We may not get to a point in our lives when children are a smart decision, or a possibility, and I'm okay with that. I love my life, and I love my husband. I don't *need* a child to make my marriage better or to fully understand being a woman or a wife.

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  5. I don't think I want children- it isn't actually something I think about very often, to be honest. I do think, however, that people ought to make that decision (and it is a decision to make because I don't think one ought to be 'indifferent' about that) either way- to have or to not have children.


    I think a lot of people bring up 'overpopulation' as a reason, and while.. yeah, OK.. I think there's a lot of really problematic issues there. (Sorry about this upcoming lecture- but this is a lot of what I handle at work- population and development) The issue is not just that there are too many people in the world- more than the Earth can handle, it's that the majority of the resources are in the hands of the few. The issue isn't just that there are 'too many' people- it is that the majority of the people do have access to their rights and are unable to exercise their rights*. The majority of the world- where population rates are high, are in the developing world. Their resource consumption is MINIMAL compared to the developed world- which has a declining population rate- which has a very, very, very large consumption footprint. So, it's incredibly simplistic to say 'too many people' and leave it at that. Add to this the historical experiments and population control programmes that have overwhelmingly been targetted at people (specifically women) from developing countries- forced sterilisation programmes, people talking about putting contraceptives in water, & the one child policy... all major, major rights violations.

    *the majority of these people have large families because children die young and their projected life expectancy is usually below national averages. The poor are disproportionately affected by this. Add to this the fact that they are unable to exercise rights- access to contraceptives, healthcare, maternal care- or information, it makes this a whole lot more complicated. A lot of women would rather have smaller families if they could be guaranteed safe birth and a lower child/neonatal death rate, but that doesn't happen.. hence larger families. This is, inherently, an issue of rights.

    WRT to the UK and rewarding people for having children (certain kind of children- white, usually) a lot also has to do with your declining population rate. That means in the very near future, there will be too many old people and not enough young people- putting a disproportionate burden on the young people to continue to take forward the economy and support the (retired, ill, dying) older persons. The UK is falling below the replacement rate (i.e. 1 child for every person), making 'incentivisation' of increasing the birth rate a favourable tool for the government.


    /end lecture.

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  6. Boiiiiii...I feel you. I feel ALL of these reasons. I have done so much nannying and babysitting since I moved to LA, and it's made me want kids less and less. Not because the kids weren't mostly delightful, because they were, but because I realized how relieved I am to give them back to their parents at the end of the day and go back to my apartment and drink some whiskey and watch television and do whatever the hell I want. I'm too selfish to have kids. Perhaps that will change...but I dunno. I don't feel comfortable saying "never", but I am completely on the same page as you right now.

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