Sunday, 20 April 2014

I READ STUFF [#2]: ZINES

As You Were Issue #1

I have been trying to get hold of this 'punx comic anthology' FOREVER but have always been put off by the steep as fuck shipping charges that the publisher, Silver Sprocket, slap on for for UK shipping. Luckily I found some kid was selling a copy on Etsy and charged fuck all for UK shipping. SCORE! The zine did not disappoint. Compiled by one of my favourite artists, Mitch Clem, the theme of the issue is house shows and there are 20 or so strips by different artists. I particularly enjoyed the house show bingo strip by Nation of Amanda, so much of it rung true. I now to to find a crafty way to get hold of Issue #2 & #3 without paying all the shipping.


Good Lookin' South Issue #4

The first issue of this Brighton punk zine in eighteen months! I started reading this back when it began, you know, when I actually lived in Brighton. I don't live there any longer but I still like to keep up to date with 'the scene' (Although one issue every eighteen months isn't going to keep my very "up to date". Haha.) Either way, it has some good gig/album reviews and band interviews and such. I'd like to read more 'local' punk zines from other cities. If there are any. I'm sure there must be. I don't know. TO GOOGLE!

Open Pen Issue #8

This is a free open literature magazine that I picked up when I was in London a few weeks ago. (First of all... FREE ZINE! Two of my favourite words in the English language.) I didn't really know what to expect, quality wise, but it was actually fairly decent. There was no over-arcing theme to this collection of short stories, but they were all enjoyable. A particular highlight was the story about the death of a Jahovah's Witness which tickled me. Unfortunately, unless I am in London again any time soon I won't be able to pick this up elsewhere as it is only stocked in various independent bookshops around the capital (and, oddly, a library in Havana, Cuba... What?!?).


Hoax Issue #2

Hoax is another free zine (FREE ZINE!) that I picked up in London. This one describes itself as a "JOURNAL PRESENTING ALL FORMS OF CREATIVE, TEXT-BASED WORK AS EQUAL & REMOVING USELESS DEFINITIONS OF WHAT CREATIVE WORK CAN BE", or CTBW for short. Because everybody loves an acronym. It is a little more abstract (and a lot more pretentious) than the previous zine, but regardless, I really enjoyed at least 50% of the pieces in the collection.




Hand Job Issue #4

If Hoax is pretentious, then Hand Job is the complete opposite end of the scale. No bullshit, no fa├žade, it is what it is. And what it is is a superb little zine; a collection of funny, touching and thought provoking literature. A celebration of British writing, with a comic strip and a quiz to boot! The editor, J.E.G will have a poem and short story featured in the next issue of Paper & Ink and I would love to do a split Paper & Ink/Hand Job zine someday. If only I wasn't so god damn slow and getting my zine together (J.E.G has produced four issues since Paper & Ink #1 was released. Dude makes me feel SUPER LAZY).


Happy Easter everyone! I hope you all have a fantastic zine to read whilst you stuff your face with chocolate!

Monday, 14 April 2014

GROWING OLDER NOT UP

I know, I have been super lax at blogging recently. The reason for my absence from the blogosphere is twofold; partly because I suck at life and partly mainly due to my obsession with Pokemon. Playing through Pokemon Red reinvigorated my love for Pokemon so I then purchased a shiny new (second hand from eBay) Nintendo 3DS and a copy of one of the latest games in the series, Pokemon X. Most of my free time, much to my girlfriend's chagrin, has been consumed with my mission to catch 'em all in the Kalos region. I fucking love Pokemon.

It was my birthday on Saturday. My 27th. Part of me thinks that 27 years olds probably shouldn't be so obsessed with Pokemon, but a bigger part of me thinks "Fuck it. I do what I want", and you can probably guess which part I listen to most. Saturday night was a rather messy affair. I drank a shit load of cider/jager/sambuca and Drunk Martin thought it would be hilarious to fall over/roll around on the floor a lot, so I am sporting some rather painful injuries at the moment. I really dislike Drunk Martin sometimes. 

I got a tattoo voucher from Erin, so I am finally going to lose my tattoo virginity within the next three months! Yay! I am going to get an image of favourite Pokemon! I jest, I jest, I'm not that obsessed (Ha! That rhymes, kinda). I do know someone who has Pokemon tattoos though. No, I am going to get a line from Against Me! song The Ocean on my forearm - There Is An Ocean In My Soul - I just need to figure out what kind of script I want. I fucking love Against Me!

Last night I watched Midnight In Paris and this morning I bought Zelda Fitzgerald's novel 'Save Me The Waltz' and Hemmingway's 'To Have & Have Not' with an Amazon voucher that I also got for my birthday. I fucking love books.

I apologise for this post being so short, but Pokemon don't catch themselves, you know! LOVEYOUBYE

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

3AM

we met at a Filaments gig
though i don't remember them playing
(thanks, cider)
you were wearing a Flogging Molly t-shirt
and i Black Flag.

let's forget all the times we could have met before
but didn't
because i never spoke to you.

we met at a Filaments gig.

i knew i was in trouble
when i read the quote on your desktop wallpaper
"she's mad but she's magic,
there's no lie in her fire"
you read.
not only do you read
but you read Bukowski.

i fell in love with you
as you explained the concept of Solipsism to me.
you spoke with such energy
and passion
and in that moment
i wasn't sure if i had dreamt you up.

now
several months later
i am sat on your sofa at 3am
smoking a cigarette
while you're asleep in your bed
your cat is having a late night snack
and i am wearing the same Black Flag t-shirt
as the night we met
at a Filaments gig.

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

LET'S PARTY LIKE IT'S 1998

Myself and the group of degenerates and reprobates that I like to call my friends have decided to resurrect the Pokemon craze of the late 90s. We have each bought old school gameboys and copies of either Pokemon Red, Blue or Yellow (I have Red) and last Friday night, along with copious amounts of alcohol, we threw down and began our quest to catch 'em all. It was quite honestly one of the funnest nights I have experienced in a long time, not to mention by far the geekiest.


As you can see there were six of us, however, in less than a week the number of people joining us for our next session has already risen by three. Hopefully it will rise by another three the week after, and then before you know it WE WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD! MWAHAHAHA! Or something. 

Let me tell you... trying to navigate your way through Mt. Moon when you've had several cans of Strongbow is no simple task! Luckily I had my trusty and loyal companion Bulbasaur with me to fend off all of the god damn wild Zubats. GO AWAY ZUBAT, I AM LOST AND YOU'RE NOT HELPING!

Tuesday, 18 February 2014

FUCK YOU, NME

A couple of weeks ago I noticed a link that someone had posted on Facebook to this article from NME concerning their list of the '500 greatest songs of all time'. Naturally I clicked the link to see what the top of the list looked like, and frankly, I was shocked. Shocked and appalled. I have said it before and I will say it again; I am no music critic, I have no idea about arrangements or structure or what makes a song technically "good" etc,. I will also state, for the record, that I have never bought an issue of NME before in my life and judging by the top five in their list of the greatest songs OF ALL TIME the odds of that ever happening just got a lot slimmer...

5. 'Last Nite' by The Strokes
4. 'How Soon Is Now?' by The Smiths
3. 'I Feel Love' by Donna Summer
2. 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' by Joy Division
1. 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' By Nirvana 

I'm not surprised in the slightest to see The Smiths and Joy Division songs in the top five, it is the NME after all. I'm not really surprised to see 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' at number one either. And I have to be honest, I had never heard of Donna Summer or that song, but whatever, 70s disco isn't really my thing... No, my main issue with this top five is MOTHERFUCKING 'LAST NITE' BY THE STROKES! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!? THE FIFTH BEST SONG OF ALL TIME? OF ALL TIME? They can't even spell 'Night', let alone what the piece of shit song actually sounds like. Fuck, it wasn't even the fifth best song of 2001 let alone OF ALL TIME.

Okay, rant over. It feels good to get that off my chest, that has been brewing inside me ever since I clicked that link. I'm not going to post my own 'Top Five Songs of All Time' because music is fucking subjective and I fully appreciate that not everyone will have the same taste as me, but really... Do that many people like 'Last Nite'? REALLY?!? I don't believe it.

Fuck you, NME. You piece of shit hipster bullshit merchants, FUCK YOU.